A Girl in Dirty Jersey

Diary of a Swimmer

six days
left of summer, that is.
i feel like when summer ends, brian will be officially gone.
even though i havent seen him since august 5th. i talked to him friday night, though. and he hardly ever seems to be online now, maybe hes been really busy, i dunno. we talked for like an hour, and i miss him. a lot.
i have to go shower soon but whatever.
you know what else i miss? working at kaplers. i miss when me and sharon used to be friends, and i miss getting free gummi burgers and orange & cream jones soda and ginger ale. i miss the dungeon and i miss the reigster and "do you need a bag?" i miss cleaning the toy aisle, i miss orders that towered to the ceiling, i miss the dumpster full of cardboard boxes, i miss the shed. i miss when the three of us stocked the personal hygiene aisle and walked around carrying giant boxes of trojans. i miss the smell of the overstock drawers in the hair aisle. i miss the yankeee candle display and the coffee machines in the front of the store. i miss the sunscreen all lined up. i miss mrs. temple and mrs. b and mrs. kelly and carol and barb.
i miss last summer.
and brian.
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another summer comes to end

fuck, i miss brian :(
i added him on facebook, but i dont know what the hell im supposed to talk to him about!?
he hasnt ttried to talk to me yet...but we've only been friends for like two days.
i think ill try when i watch secret life monday night. he always hated it and when we first started talking it became kind of inside joke between us,

im leaving hatteras on sunday morning. tomorrows our last day. its so fucking lonely here without everyone. i want to go home :(


an interesting dilemma
some people would say i'm lucky to have the problem i do.
oh, those boys, boys, boys.
i met him at swimming, back in the middle of july. i fell so hard.
we became good friends. we liked each other.
some people say im lucky i have someone that its so hard to say goodbye to, someone who i love and who cares about me, and who's not just a "crush" but a friend. but he's gone, he went home after the summer, and i never got to say goodbye.
but i dont.
sorry to anyone who's reading this. and i'm trying really hard to use proper grammar, too.
and of course after a summer of just him, just brian, two other guys pop up right after he leaves. one is a boy that my friend jess likes, his name is tray, and i work with him, but i just met him yesterday. he patted me on the dad's called the cops on him before...he's a swimmer...he's a really cool guy, and i would go for him if
a) my dad didn't hate him
b) jess didn't like him
c) i didn't still love and miss brian so much
and then nick pops up again. nick and i were flirting at the beginning of the summer, then lost touch around the same time brian came into my life-coincidence, no. but i need a date for homecoming and nick looks like a good option. and we're talking again. the day after i meet tray.
it been almost two weeks since ive seen brian. i can barely handle it. how will i wait until next summer?
sorry to burden anyone who's reading this with my stupid emotional baggage. im just really upset and confused-the only person who's been willing to listen is my friend chris, who i basically dumped the whole sob story on last night while he tried to give me advice.
so, if you have anything to say, anything at all...just comment. message, whatever.
good night


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